“Is it OK that I wank when I smoke weed?” This question was submitted to Ask Liberty. The answer here outlines why weed and wanking go hand in hand, and what can be done IF it’s a problem. Plus, a bonus idea at the end to keep weed in your (sex) life.
why would this happen?
Because it feels good, right.
Weed is a vasodilator; ie it opens blood vessels and increases blood flow. Cannabis also acts on receptors in our brain that are to do with sexual functioning, as well as receptors in our skin and nerve pathways that are involved with pain. Plus, endocannabinoids have been found to be released naturally after orgasm. Weed and sex have interlinking chemistry.
Or maybe you feel a bit guilty about wanking; and being high is when you just allow yourself to enjoy it. We’ve all been brought up with the vague notion that there’s something sleazy about it; there isn’t, it’s good for you. We only get one body and we should make it feel good; simple as.
Or maybe it’s just a bit boring when you wank if you’re not high; most of us get stuck in a rut of ‘the quickest route to orgasm’ and don’t spend time touching ourself in other ways or experimenting.
is it ok?!
You’re asking if it’s ok, which suggests that you don’t feel in full control of the habit. I mean, if you’re getting baked with other people they’re not going to appreciate you just whacking your wang or your flang out. (presumably).
Maybe you just want to be able to chill, get stoned, watch a film, and not have to put your hand in your pants.
We have very strong reward seeking neurochemistry, and endorphins are released when we get that ‘thing’. One of the reasons we get addict-y about things is from a lack of satisfaction or natural highs in our lives. Sitting in offices and scrolling on phones does not give us the same rushes that chasing a wild boar or having a raving village ceremony (or orgy) would.
As well as this propensity for chasing rewards, we are creatures of habit. Same situations trigger same behaviours; our brain goes ‘oh ok I’m in a smoking weed situation and what normally happens is then I wank, so that’s the neural pathway I’m going to carry on taking and that’s what I’m expecting.’ Just like for some people as soon as they get to a pub they want a fag.
so what can you do?
- Retrain your stoned expectations
One of the ways to get over cravings is to observe and wait, and accept the slight uncomfortableness of doing so. Imagine if you were hovering over and above, looking down at yourself: “Oh, I’m having that craving I see. Ok. That’s fine, I’ll wait for it to pass.” It will be an effort, but it will get easier.
- Don’t let your brain persuade you
We often try to trick ourselves with rationalisations; oh why don’t you do it just this once, you can stop tomorrow, it’s not actually that much of a problem, I want to do it so why the hell shouldn’t I, etc. You could write down the reasons why you need to break this habit and then read them at the time.
- Distractions not fantasies
When we crave we also start imagining the thing we want, and what doing it will be like, how it will feel… Avoid that because it feeds more into the craving neurochemistry. Observe the craving and then distract yourself. Get really into making elaborate pancake towers or something. Go to a park and get high instead of being in your room if that’s where you normally are. I’m assuming you wouldn’t go as far as getting nicked for public indecency.
go to town / go online
Or maybe you just make it your thing, and every Sunday get fucking baked and just go to town (on yourself) and have a wonderful time.
Either way, if it’s a problem you want to address, think about it in the context of your whole life, as to why this might be an issue, and then think of your craving as simply a brain pattern that you can hack and retrain.
Bonus tip: if you want to smoke weed without wanking but you still want to get your bits high; you can get THC lube online