#4 What’s it Like Using a Diaphragm? The Pros & Cons

What’s it Like Using a Diaphragm? The Pros & Cons

Talking about first dates, clean sheets and potential regrets

Diaphragm Caya Milex Omni-flex barrier contraception
Warning: Contains explicit content ♦ & is not to be used as medical advice ♥ Disclaimer here

Now we know Why Every Woman Needs One, How To Use It and Whether It Will Seriously Prevent Pregnancy, let's finish up with the benefits and drawbacks.

Diaphragms are not given the credit they deserve. Even though I had to power through a horrendous hangover whilst being fingered by a Nurse; getting a diaphragm was one of the best things I ever did for my Single Girl Sex Life and is definitely in the Top 5 Greatest Accessories That I've Ever Owned list.

Having said that, I don’t use one now with my BF. Check out all the pros and cons and decide if you want to get yours:

The Benefits of the Diaphragm 

Drip pattern

💚 Happy, healthy, horny: There are no side effects

Diaphragms are side effect free. If you use hormonal contraception, even if you don’t feel semi-psycho-bitch, it will be having a detrimental effect on your health overall.

What’s the point in spending money on those organic kale juices if you’re ingesting unhealthy synthetic hormones every day (that reduce your ability to absorb nutrients properly). The copper coil is not so bad for a lot of people, but it still has a long list of potential side effects.

 I've been using the diaphragm for 6 years now and recommend it highly. I spent 20 years having awful side effects with hormonal contraception and wished I'd discovered it earlier.

Diaphragm user

💚 You don't have to make any long term commitments or feel the pain:

You can change your mind at any time. Sure, you have to get an appointment for a fitting, but there’s no painful procedures or withdrawal effects.

💚 Feel like WonderWoman motherf*ckers:

It’s empowering. Your vagina accessory, your decision, your body. I didn’t expect to feel this quite so profoundly; usually when other people start using the word ‘empowerment’ my eyes involuntarily glaze over.

 Gives me total control, neither he nor I can feel it … go to a family planning clinic or nurse who is experienced at fitting. My family planning nurse is evangelical about the diaphragm, she can't understand why more women don't use it.

Diaphragm user

Man and flower pot
Expect the unexpected. And always cum prepared. When you're getting ready for a night out put your diaphragm in just incase

💚 Move from tonguing to dicking in one smooth manouvere:

Using a diaphragm doesn’t have to interrupt the moment because you can put it in hours beforehand.

Apparently though if you put it in then don't have sex, it can be surprisingly depressing when you take it out. If you go out hoping to get laid and then come home empty handed, you’re going to feel a bit sad regardless. If you put your diaphragm in "because-I’ve-got-a-good-feeling-about-tonight-even-though-bf-and-I-are-going-through-a-serious-dry-spell" but you get the cold shoulder in bed or have an argument instead; taking your unloved diaphragm out would be like an extra kick in the teeth I suppose.

 It doesn't interfere with your body like hormones or a coil does, and doesn't interfere with sex like the condom. I pop it in every night when I brush my teeth, sometimes it's needed, other nights not.

Diaphragm user

💚 Love Thy Self (and thy vulva, vagina and cervix):

You learn more about your own anatomy. You’ve probably randomly heard the word cervix but do you actually know what yours feels like or where it is?! It’s nice to know. Quite disconcerting when you think about childbirth though tbf.

💚 You can pre-empt the foolishness of ‘Trashed Idiot You’:

When you’re f*cked it always seems like a fun idea to say ‘Pfftt condoms! Who needs condoms!? Not us! Tra la laaaaa’... But if you’ve put your diaphragm in beforehand then you’re already sorted and you can avoid all of that next day guilt and/or expensive morning after pill.

💚 More protection than pills or coils:

Diaphragms give you some protection from STD’s (because they cover your cervix) 

💚 You don't have to Dance with the Devil:

You don’t need to keep getting prescriptions. This means you’re not supporting huge pharmaceutical companies (as much). If you don’t know how dodgy some of the practises of Big Pharma are; where have you been?! A few examples: they bribe and intimidate doctors, cover up dangerous side effects, and invest their money in things that f*ck up the world like toxic bee-killing pesticides.

💚 Ecowarriors rejoice:

Diaphragms are better for the environment than condoms, obviously, because you reuse them. They are also better than hormonal contraceptives; the hormones from these are pissed out into the environment and this effects the health of aquatic life. As we were all taught in school; when links at the bottom of the food chain are getting f*cked up it’s not long before it gets all f*cked up at the top too (that means us).

💚 Vampires rejoice:

You could use it for some sneaky light period sex. If you’re near the end of your period or just lightly spotting your diaphragm will catch a little bit of blood, this means you can have sex without worrying about staining the sheets or scaring the fella.

Sexual woman art
Diaphragms enable some covert light period sex. Image cc: Unknown

The Drawbacks of the Diaphragm

Lightning and rain

💔 Standard sh*t is poisonous:

Standard spermicide (containing nonoxyl-9) is harmful. But no worries, you can just use an alternative such as Contragel

💔 You must use the goo:

You do have to use the spermicide. But how taxing is it to simply squeeze a little onto your diaphragm when you're putting it in. The only faff is that you have to re-apply spermicide if you f*ck multiple times (unless you use manuka honey) and there are some situations where that might be a bit awkward.

💔 🎵 How will you know, if he really feels it...

You want to bang. But you don't want him to bang into it.

It may not suit everybody. Dicks, vaginal canals, cervix sizes, etc, are all different and so it’s reasonable to assume that they aren’t going to work for every couple combination.

I had been using withdrawal with someone I was f*cking but as soon as I got my diaphragm I flounced over to his with my new vagcessory in (YES that's in the dictionary) and afterwards asked if he had noticed it; his response was neutral, yeah he could kind of feel it but no problemo. Another unsuspecting victim that I used it with was simply blissfully unaware.

New f*ckbuddy Chat Tips:

You may be wondering how to broach the topic; like it’s your first date, you don’t want to have to mention your cervix?! But don’t worry, once you start getting with each other you can just whisper the magical words ‘by the way, you can cum in me…’ and they probably won’t question it. But if they do you can just say you have a diaphragm inside of you which is like a little dome that stops their sperm from getting anywhere. BOOM, carry on. As I said, in How Do You use a Diaphragm?, my bf wasn’t a fan the one time we tried it, but I think that is more to do with the fact that I literally sprang it upon him and his d*ck was both confused and concerned by what it had witnessed.

My (other half) is extremely well endowed, and he never dislodged it when it was fitted correctly, only when I had rushed and hadn't put it in properly!

My partner is fairly average sized ... and we've never had any issues (apart from when I'd been given a diaphragm that was too small and it was uncomfortable for him as he was rubbing against the hard rim).

Diaphragm users

💔 It's not totally Fool proof:

You could get carried away and forget you haven’t put it in, or accidentally leave it somewhere. Diaphragms are user dependant; if you’re not going to use it properly or reliably then you should look into other options

💔 Unexpected jaunts, beware:

Diaphragms might not be so great if you’re having lots of sex totally unexpectedly, and/or if you’re doing it in the park.

💔 We are suspicious of diaphragms:

It’s hard to trust something when you’re told it’s not effective. As we saw in the last post, Will You Get Pregnant Using a Diaphragm?, they're highly effective when used correctly but because they’re not in fashion anymore people are suspicious of them. Ease yourself in to a trusting relationship with your diaphragm by taking extra precautions at first; for example only using it on a few infertile days to begin with (eg just before your period)

Take home message:

All women should at least try one out. If you're extra careful at first; what have you got to lose?!

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