Years ago I went to my doctor with a handwritten letter detailing, essentially, how the pill had turned me into an irrational emotional wreck. He silently read it.  Then he told me that actually, silly girl, it was the boys and the cannabis that had caused my depression, not the pill...

He offered me anti-depressants or therapy. I declined both, and left crying.

I didn’t want to take chemical contraception again but what else was I going to do!? I halfheartedly decided on condoms, but only one or two of them ever actually left the packet. So surprise surprise, I eventually got pregnant. I had an abortion and although the experience was not traumatic, it was painful and depressing and kind of lonely.

My period had always been a breeze before that 'Situation', but for months afterwards I suffered severe cramps and having a period turned into a generally awful and dread-worthy experience. And for many women this struggle is perfectly normal. It dawned on me that people assume to be a woman = to suffer, whether that be with monthly pain or ‘inexplicable’ mood swings. And I can't help but feel like this is utter bullsh*t...

On a related but far happier note; A while prior to all this I had experienced my first ever hail-mary-mother-of-god-I-didn't-realise-this-could-feel-so-good orgasm. But I had been having sex for 4 whole years of my life already... all of that time I had never really reached Candy Mountain and hadn't known what I'd been missing! All that huffing and puffing, all that downstairs waxing, all that competing and fretting... I could have won the Nobel Peace Prize or trekked the length of the Amazon if I hadn't wasted all of that energy. Or at least have found the time to write a witty and heartfelt letter to Noel Fielding asking if we could be friends.

But I digress, back to contraception. I was later introduced to natural fertility methods: there are only about 6 days a month you can fall pregnant and you can learn what these days are from the signs your body gives you. Amazing! But using the techniques requires care, consistency and motivation. And if you are spending whole weeks at a time hungover, or struggling with your mental health, or in a cloud of green smoke, then these are not traits that come easily to you. (And often times I was totally fine but just couldn't be bothered with the faff).

So, what? You might be thinking. I don’t care for your life story. Well, all of these events led me to one question:

What the f*ck is a girl supposed to do out here!!

I made it my mission to research all things contraceptive, orgasmic, hormonal and mental and thus, below the bush was conceived. These are some of the most important topics in our lives and yet it's far easier to find reliable and relatable advice on the forty-six ways we can contour our chins.

And what about the guys?

Men are often completely excluded from the conversation, lazily blamed or ridiculed. Sexual empowerment is for everyone and the need to talk about mental health is greater than ever.

Some of the most touching and heartfelt endorsements of below the bush's content has come from men and they most certainly have a lot of questions that need answering too.

And everyone else.

below the bush is for everyone's mind, body and relations.

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