musician swears - materialism and sex

Life’s alright, so why don’t you feel content yet? Sex, freedom, and power

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Did you know that having power distorts your view of people?

Power leads to objectification. Those in positions of power are liable to see people as less like whole human beings, and more like instruments that can either help or hinder them. Power is not necessarily corrupting, but it easily can be.

objectification

/ɒbdʒɛktɪfɪˈkeɪʃ(ə)n/

noun

  1. 1.
    the action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object.

Dating apps, porn, half naked people bending over on billboards; these things all encourage objectification. When we can scroll through hundreds of people, ‘tits are too small’, ‘lame job’, ‘not hench’, it’s a bit savage but there’s no problem because it’s not doing them or anyone any harm, right!? And it gives us a nice sense of power, we can choose who to reject or accept, we are in control…

When we objectify we aren’t using empathy. When we’re assessing someone on what they are or aren’t going to do for us, we are not thinking about them as a whole person with their own backstory and concerns.

so what? cry me a river right?

But, when we use less empathy, we are allowing less room for emotion, which in turn means we are allowing ourselves less room for positive satisfying emotions.

When we are materialistic and objectifying; we actually have less freedom. We are constrained by continually trying to reach for something, and are less free to do what we would really like to do. We’re focused on the attainment of a thing or the ticking of a box, and this lessens our enjoyment of the present reality. Is it a coincidence that the more materialistic a country becomes, the more prescriptions for depression and anxiety are needed?

Consider this common experience; you fuck someone, you leave (you don’t want to stay for breakfast because jesus lord you do not want to have to hear their life story), later that day you look back on it and think ‘yes, sick, got laid, the sex was pretty decent, got what I wanted so… job done, sweet’. Then there’s a flicker of something deep down inside… something that feels just a tiny bit… dead. Which obviously we immediately push back down and ignore, and turn our minds to something else or to congratulating ourselves for getting some.

This is objectification backfiring on us. 

We’re often completely oblivious to the fact that we are doing it, or that we might be objectifying ourselves too.

how do you tend to talk about people that you’re scrolling through, or that you’ve fucked, or want to fuck?

how do you tend to view yourself?

As numerous studies show and as I said; having power leads to objectification, but this is also the case vice versa; when we objectify, it gives us a sense of power, that’s why we do it! And being powerful feels good – but do you know what feels even better? Joy.

One of the philosopher Martin Buber’s main assertions, and many others’, is that humans find meaning in life through their relationships. He described the difference between seeing ourselves and others as I – it and I – thou. When others are ‘its’ they are objects we can use or experience, when others are ‘thou’s’ they are people that we have a relationship with or to.

When we view others as less than, as ‘it’ not ‘thou’, it hardens us up a little bit, and that leaves a little bit less space for fulfillment. A stone is not moved by anything. But a stone is protected. Protection is tempting, but really we want to be MOVED, we want to feel because that’s what being alive is. That’s one of the reasons we fight, or fuck, or take drugs – we want to be moved, even if we think or pretend we don’t.

All of this comes as slightly unwelcome news. There’s something very satisfying about viewing people as objects, things you can take or leave, or detachedly analyse, but alas, by doing so we’re actually fucking ourselves over.

this doesn’t mean I have to stop staring at people’s asses in the gym though… does it?!

You may also like: it’s the sesh that’s valuable; not the end result​

don’t beat around the bush

 

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