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zroamed Pussy Galore in the bedroom: How can you feel less anxious and more confident?

A while back I met a couple of characters; the former gave me newfound peace of mind and you can read about him here. And the latter gave me a great orgasm; she was called Pussy Galore.

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin describes what she calls The Alter Ego Effect.  One of her clients was having confidence issues around sex and she unthinkingly said that all she wanted was ‘to be the woman who loves sex’. Vanessa asked her to describe who this woman would be: “The woman who loves sex’ was poised and self-assured, but also playful. She asked for what she wanted, and knew she deserved to get it. She didn’t hesitate to try something new in the bedroom, and she could laugh it off if it didn’t go perfectly.’ So Vanessa asked her client to be that alter ego next time she was in the bedroom. Despite the client’s misgivings about whether something like that could work, whether it would feel fake; the technique totally transformed her experience.

You could be ‘the man who focuses purely on the moment’ 


‘the insatiable cum fiend’. Whatever you like.

Creating a full blown alter ego is a common theme in pop culture, it’s something that people do for all manner of reasons but it essentially enables them to boldly step out of their comfort zone. David Bowie had Ziggy Stardust, Eminem has Slim Shady.

you don’t have to change the way you look or create an elaborate backstory for your new character and to benefit from it you don’t have to take your clothes off or embark on crazed new adventures, it can be as simple as: 

You’re loving life dancing to a band in the pub, everyone else you’re with is currently at the bar or in the loo, you’re still dancing away, then it dawns on you that to any onlookers you are simply a drunk person dancing alone in the corner. So with this realisation you start thinking:

“Oh dear I probably look a bit sad right now…”

“And maybe I don’t look as fit as I was imagining…”

“Perhaps I should sit down for a bit to preserve my dignity…”

But then you think “Aha! What would {insert alter ego name} do? Would they give a fuck – no!’

then you just carry on dancing and enjoying yourself.

As mentioned previously, Fitzgerald  – the inner critic – is for reducing the effects of unhelpful negativity and {Pussy Galore} – the bold alter ego – is for amplifying positive traits that already exist. Get your own, and see what you can do.

Photography by Lauren Joy Kennett

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