boy and girl sleeping on sofa

Pussy Galore in the bedroom: How can you feel less anxious and more confident?

Warning: explicit personal content

A while back I met a couple of characters; the former gave me newfound peace of mind and you can read about him here. And the latter gave me a great orgasm. Here she is:

The story of Pussy Galore (becoming more confident)

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin describes what she calls The Alter Ego Effect.  One of her clients was having confidence issues around sex and she unthinkingly said that all she wanted was ‘to be the woman who loves sex’. Vanessa asked her to describe who this woman would be: “The woman who loves sex’ was poised and self-assured, but also playful. She asked for what she wanted, and knew she deserved to get it. She didn’t hesitate to try something new in the bedroom, and she could laugh it off if it didn’t go perfectly.’ So Vanessa asked her client to be that alter ego next time she was in the bedroom. Despite the client’s misgivings about whether something like that could work, whether it would feel fake; the technique totally transformed her experience.

You could be ‘the man who focuses purely on the moment’ 

or 

‘the insatiable cum fiend’. Whatever you like.

I have used a similar technique in the past; I was in bed with an ex and we were pretty much asleep but all of a sudden I decided I wanted sex. I started to use my hand on said man but then thought ‘Actually.. what am I going to do here once I’ve raised the flag…?’ We had been having a lot of sex but often with me on top. I didn’t want to do the same position again but you can’t exactly rouse someone and immediately demand that they go on top and do all the work. It wouldn’t really be fair on the surprised bleary-eyed soul. So as I was deliberating over my next move I wondered ‘if I was a pornstar what would I do…’ And still in the pitch black I straddled him in reverse cowgirl.

I’m not normally a huge fan of this position; it’s hard to get the rhythm right for long enough and I’m always overly conscious of the fact they could be staring right up my third eye… 

But this was hot af.

Creating a full blown alter ego is a common theme in pop culture, it’s something that people do for all manner of reasons but it essentially enables them to boldly step out of their comfort zone. David Bowie had Ziggy Stardust, Eminem has Slim Shady. I have Pussy Galore.

you don’t have to change the way you look or create an elaborate backstory for your new character and to benefit from it you don’t have to take your clothes off or embark on crazed new adventures, it can be as simple as: 

You’re loving life dancing to a band in the pub, everyone else you’re with is currently at the bar or in the loo, you’re still dancing away, then it dawns on you that to any onlookers you are simply a drunk person dancing alone in the corner. So with this realisation you start thinking:

“Oh dear I probably look a bit sad right now…”

“And maybe I don’t look as fit as I was imagining…”

“Perhaps I should sit down for a bit to preserve my dignity…”

But then you think “Aha! What would {insert alter ego name} do? Would they give a fuck – no!’

then you just carry on dancing and enjoying yourself.

As mentioned previously, Fitzgerald  – the inner critic – is for reducing the effects of unhelpful negativity and Pussy Galore – the bold alter ego – is for amplifying positive traits that already exist. Get your own, and see what you can do.

Photography by Lauren Joy Kennett

don’t beat around the bush

 

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AC hat

byb: Ear biting is a no no

Hearing other people's trials and triumphs helps us all feel more sane. When I was younger; always worried about not pleasing the other half

AC hat

byb: hot, sweaty and messy

Hearing other people's trials and triumphs helps us all feel more sane. Still not solved the worry and action of cumming too quick.. lol